Thailand 2002

1. Western Bangkok
2. I am a celebrity!
3. Thai-English
4. Are you tired!
5. Traffic patterns
6. Sound and Light show!

Some of you said that after reading my previous story you felt like going
to Bangkok as well... This is a rather unintended effect, because as for
myself I don't feel like going back there. In two days it seems like I
saw all the best and the worst it has to offer. things it has to offer.
Therefore to correct your irrational exuberance now I intend to go on
rambling about the expansion of worst features of the Western culture.
Donkey-Donuts, Macdonalds, KFCs are all over, most popular drink - Pepsi,
when I ask for orange juice - they bring Fanta! If I compared
backpackers section of BKK to Greenwich Village with Asian flavor, then
the rest of the Bangkok is more like westernized version of New York's
Chinatown. Same people, same stuff sold on the streets, the only
difference is that here in Thailand everybody speaks basic transactional
English. After all my unsuccessful efforts to learn several Thai words,
it's truly amazing to see that all "babushkas" selling fried bugs, can
conduct their business in English. BTW, they taste like chicken (bugs
not babushkas), but crunchier - or so I heard. Don't expect miracles
though - very few Thais speak English beyond whatever basics is required
for their bug-trade (or whatever else they sell). But in any case even
the knowledge of English numbers already puts them (babushkas not bugs)
way ahead of many unnamed Western nations. I give Thais lots of respect
for their linguistic ability (even if it makes me feel mentally inferior)
Of course, there are some funny moments too - today I was shopping for a
hat and learned that they come in different sizes. The one that fit was
"Regular-Medium. Waist 32-34, Inseam 31-35" Or when I asked for fish in
some lakeside restaurant, the waitress girl smiled and left. 20 minutes
later after I talked to her again I figured that the first time she just
didn't understand my request, but chose not to argue :)

One cool thing about Thailand is rather personal - finally I found a
place where I am not mistaken for a local. As a matter of fact I
probably look very exotic - everywhere I go I notice some kind of
commotion. Little children come over to touch me and squeak "hello",
schoolgirls giggle and ask me to pose in a picture with them... what's
going on? I am sure I am not the first westerner they see - there are
plenty of tourists roaming the streets. Hey, people who were in Thailand
before, did you also receive same kind of attention - or is it just me?

So, after 2 days in BKK, I traveled north to Ayuthaya (sounds like Are
You Tired in Thai-English) - old Thai capital. This splendid city was
captured and burned by Burmese in 18th century. Even though the invaders
were expelled only few months later, the city has never regained its
prior glory. What's left now are the ruins of dozens of monasteries -
huge stone-walled complexes with temples , palaces, etc. Many ruins are
in very good condition and it's quite easy to see that Ayuthaya used to
be a very impressive city. It still is, at least its old - ruined part.
The modern section is like most of Bangkok - absolutely faceless and
thoroughly westernized.
The monasteries are quite apart from each other and even further from my
hotel, so I rented a bicycle to move around quickly, effortlessly and
with a breeze. Hey, what a great city transport! That's how I thought
before I got a flat and had to hire a taxi to bring me and my bike back
to the rental place.
BTW, why don't they make bike tires of solid rubber (or anything else
that doesn't have to be pumped)? I've been pondering this question for
the last 25 years, can somebody finally enlighten me? In meanwhile I'd
like to report to my readers that after some trial and error I moreorless
figured the left-side driving patterns. Main difficulty was aparently
not the conversion from right to left, but lack of consistensy - Thai
drivers will drive on any side of the road, usually picking the one which
has less traffic.
However despite the obvious road dangers, the renting process couldn't be
simplier - no deposits, collaterals, credit checks or release forms.
Only one thing is said: "bring it back before 7"
-May I bring it back tomorrow morning?
-Where do you stay?
-Across the street...
-Sure, no problem, bring it back tomorrow.
Now, that's something that I like here!

Finishing with the subject of Ayutaya, I'd like to mention (especially
for Russian readers) that surprisingly this city invoked the memory
images of Suzdal - a city in Russia, part of the so called Golden Ring.
Both are small towns with big history and mind-boggling number of ancient
temples and monasteries - all of which are in various state of disrepair.
Both are UNESCO Heritage Cites - the only difference is that Suzdal is
much more North East. Well, maybe there are few more differences as well,
but certainly not in urban fauna. Sparrows, pigeons and squirrels seem
to exist all over the world. The ways of Nature are truly amazing - why
pigeons? Why not something useful, pleasant to look at, and not capable
of flying over new hats?

Did I say finishing with the subject? No! I forgot to mention the Sound
and Light show - the true highlight of my stay. Just imagine the warm
tropical night, full moon, quiet lake that reflects the ancient temple
that towers on the opposite bank... Well that's the stage and the
decorations. When I initially mentioned the show to one of the fellow
backpackers I misnamed it as Laser show. Then I immediately corrected
myself - they certainly haven't heard of lasers in this part of the
world. Wrong! The show was of amazing technical sophistication - beats
all Disney World productions. It had almost everything - staged naval
and land battles, complete with raging fires and explosions, elephants,
horses, fireworks, laser Buddha images projected on the walls of the
temple and even movies and images displayed on the 6 meter screen created
by fountains... It starts however with what seems to be a national
anthem - because everybody, including little children, got up from their
seats and stood straight until it was over. Some day, I'll post the
pictures, but in meanwhile you still have a chance to see it with your
own eyes. The show is on every night until Dec 22nd - it's part of the
annual UN Heritage celebrations and I was quite lucky to get to Ayuthaya
exactly at the time of festivities.

Well, this was one long message.. Are you tired? I am... Good night
folks (or whatever time of the day you have now)

 

Greetings from Khao Yai national park!

A guide asked:
-Would you like to go to baht cave? (MM: Baht - is local currency)
-Huh?
-Would like to see a million baht flying?

This sounded like a real extravaganza. It immediately invoked the
childhood memories of Russian weddings when money will be thrown in the
air and kids would start squirming on the floor picking up the coins.
I'd usually collect more than others and back then I liked weddings.
However I indulged in these pleasant memories only for few moments time
it took me to realize that the guide must be talking about "bats". Well,
a million bats flying - this also sounds like a show.
The performers in this show are millions of tiny flying mammals - each
about the size of a big moth. They make their exit every evening at
around 6pm. From the observation point it first looks like a column of
smoke rising from a mountainside. The column grows and at some point
looks like a giant snake - wiggling, bending, twisting across the sky.
When bats fly directly overhead the direction of individual bats seems to
be erratic, but as whole they manage to maintain this wiggling snake
formations for hundreds meters - or as far as eye can see. And the
flapping of millions of tiny wings creates an audible sound, like if you
are standing under highway overpass. The show lasts for 10-15 minutes
and when it seems that it's finally over - another snake rises from the
mountain. Guide explained that the last group to leave are females. Huh!
I knew that!

Dear all,

It's always a pleasure to receive your feedback, no matter how sweet or
mean it is. I love it either way. I especially like the suggestions and
corrections to my letters, whether it's a missing comma or matters of
greater importance. I.e. one of the attentive readers suggested that
Donkey-Donuts might be in fact different from more familiar Dunkin Donuts
chain. Well, it well could be. He also inquired whether considering
local eating customs KFC stands for Korean Fried Cricket? Personally I
doubt that it's the case. Yesterday, for instance, I ordered Thai
ice-tea, you know the kind that they serve in New York and what I've got?
A bottle of Lipton! To and an injury to the insult, local variety of
Lipton has trice the usual amount of sugar. It's almost like drinking
maple syrup.

Talking about different food items, I posted the pictures of the more
unusual of them online. My site at http://www.fotki.com/vseznayka/ now has many
new pictures from Ayutaya and Khao Yai park.

Finally, the news of the day - I am in Pattaya. It's another western
city, but no longer a Chinatown, no, it's a larger and improved version of
Miami's South Beach. This time the difference is that of doubling signs
in Spanish, here they are doubled in German and Russian. For many miles
along the beach there is an endless array of hotels, clubs, bars... Yes,
bars - I never saw so many bars in all other cities combined. There are
streets of bars, there are city blocks of bars, there are huge open
markets where every stall is a bar... All of these bars are operated by
several friendly hostesses who entertain customers in a variety of
ways... i.e. playing bar games. One of the games is similar to
tic-tac-toe, but apparently more difficult, because I lose to bar girls
almost all the time. Well, it's time for me to go back for another
round. Therefore I'll have to tell you about my kite-surfing experiences
in the next issue.